it still hurts
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I'm crying again. :(...
I've no idea why...tell me babes...
why do i still feel the hurt even when i know i've moved on.
I dun need him. but i can still feel the hurt.
I was happily cleanin up my room and then there was the file.
File where we used to keep all the receipts from the first tym we met till it got worse...
I've always wanted to throw them away or burnt them but i tot it would be great if we could burnt them together to signify we've moved on but didnt get around to do so.
and so as i was just reminscing the receipts, gosh. Just tooooooo much memories...
From the small memos from Pulau Tekong where he would take time off just to spend tym wif me. earliest dated 23/07/05. And its not once or twice...its a LOT of tyms. He would brave the ferry ride from Tekong to Changi Terminal and long riding journey to Woodlands just to be with me... sigh...those were the days. And the endless mcs that he took as well that landed him extras in camp.Serious business. people in lurrve i guess.
and then there is this receipt where we rented Harry Potter cds just to watch together over at his place. ooohh...how we have soooooooo many similarities that we sumtyms reflect each other. Another of our fav. Lord of the Rings where we would watch the trilogy over n over and not get sick and tired of it.. =) movie tickets...too many movies in 3 years.. and not to mention the countless tyms we watch FRIENDS episodes together over at my place online...and we even bought the FRIENDS DVD Trivia game and played anytym we can to test our knowledge on the episodes. thats how crazy we were!! soooo nice.. *sigh*and speaking of wich, i love the tyms wer we wud spend nights wif his AC bros just playin board games at Arab st or sum1s place/chalet. U name it. Risk, Scrabble, Pictionary, Cluedo, Charade, Taboo...we've played most and one of the stupidest yet funny game we played at MICE cafe was the duck got shoot game. wif Imran. gosh.
I even bought Cluedo and Taboo for myself coz i was addicted to them. =)
and yet another receipt would be Queensway shopping Centre Optics Today where we bought our couple set glasses together. in green. loving them... and that ended when i saw that bitch wearin his. *sigh*
and its weird how we like to go SIM LIM as well... usually for Wak Nordin's computer stuphs and sumtyms memory cards for my parents... =)
includin in the mess is also an air ticket to Brunei.
Yeah. He went to Brunei for almost a month. N i remember missing him soooo much.
And i would keep my phone at work so that wen he calls, i could pick up just to hear his voice... and the day that he came back, i cudnt sleep. too excited. when i saw him, i ran to him and hug him. really. just like in the movies. and he kissed me... *sigh* and then he gave me a bear soft toy with material just like i love... it says "I love you forever." and i was the envy of Niza that tym. =) but well...yeah ryte. forever my foot!
and the many summons that he had gotten over the years coz of smoke composition, illegal parkin..and others.. n how we battled financially to settle them coz we shared money together. Umi even borrowed him money to settle his insurance and road tax. UMI LOVED HIM. too much. *sigh* anak menantu Umi lah katakan... *sigh*and trips to NEA...VICOM...almost everitin he needed my company. i miss that kinda neediness.
and then there were the receipts to Genting where we had our first hols together. *sigh*
and the second holiday wer we went wif our football craze to KL... gosh.
dated:20/10/06
we did a joint account together. 5 days after my birthday.
he was keen on it. "For our future" he says.
I believed him. i did. really.
i was there for his POP at Tekong.
I was there for his Turn Ops Parade. 1st Guards.
wat else??? i was with him when everitin wasnt ryte in his life.
I was there waiting for him to settle down after NS coz he said he needed a break.
I was there even when he went for interview that day at Adidas where he got the job. for the whole day coz there were many parts for the interview.
And then wif Adidas, our r.ship just go down wif it... :(
It has been very difficult lettin him go.
It has been very difficult forgettin bout him.
It has been very difficult to move on.
Truly.
If i have been tellin people I've moved on.
So why is it hurt that i feel when i reminisce?
He was my soulmate.
He was my bestfriend.
I loved him.
Too much.
*sob*
Pink - Who KnewYou took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me
You'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me Yeah huh
That's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better'
Cause you said forever
And ever Who knew
Remember when
We were such fools
And so convinced
And just too cool
Oh no, No no.
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything
When someone said count your blessings now'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever And ever
Who knew
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long goneI'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling My darling
Who knew My darling
I miss youMy Darling
Who Knew Who knew
